How not to become a good artist:

  1. Think about yourself not in other terms than that you are…”an Artist”. You must be one since you are using canvas and oil paints…You are definitely one when you manage to sell your work on e-Bay or from your web-page… If you have a shadow of a doubt – go for an extremely cold shower…
  2. Bath yourself in expensive materials: easels, quality paints and brushes, top-range electronic devises (cameras, projectors, computers etc.) for keeping you going on your research…And don’t forget you are nobody without just perfect airy and spacious studio… Don’t be naive to believe that there are masterpieces out there made by means of the most ridiculous junk… Anything looks better when executed with 30$ brush…Doesn’t it?
  3. Leave philosophy for philosophers, psychology for psychologists, human anatomy for doctors, all sort of science for scientists – your job is that of an image-maker… Honestly speaking, you don’t need to know Plato’s conceptions on Ideas or how human muscles look inside to paint a perfectly convincing figure…Don’t bother with a thought than maybe art is something beyond a profession/hobby of… making art. To make it even simpler – don’t bother with thinking/reflecting at all… Just let your colours go….
  4. If contemporary dilemma gives you a headache, let it go too. You don’t need to be painfully struggling how to answer to the modern chaos, you can start to paint just like Caravaggio did or limit yourself to the “eternal” themes: apples, scenic views, literal portraits…
  5. Stick to your medium, preferably throughout your entire life… Don’t even try another techniques, media, approaches because there’s a danger that you will like them and you may change your style and way of working (complete disaster!)…
  6. Under no circumstance leave your work without an eloquent, wordy explanation. Be “universal” and translatable, easygoing and pleasant for everybody otherwise your less intelligent viewers won’t have a clue at all and your nasty critics will make a flying saucer out of your innocent platter. Or just face it – they won’t bother at all, they will go for Warhol-ish enjoyment… Train yourself to make a cool-headed vivisection of your art even before it breathes its last…
  7. But – if you prefer to go for another extreme – you must self-create yourself for a weirdo…if you are good enough, they will avoid you making up messages of “genius” out of your crazy, neurotic, limited talk…
  8. Size and colour matters so let your work SHOUT with bright “expressionistic” WOW, underline your focal point and exaggerate as much as you can, go for an elephant format – everyone will think you are brave, bold and modern and even those who wouldn’t distinguish Michelangelo from Caspar Friedrich will say “that stuff just has to be art“…
  9. Sacrifice your pieces by closing them in a proper gallery, museum, society etc… Design your work for being presented that way – always professionally framed… Posh, puristic and without life but – does it matter? Street, pubs, outsiders’ exhibitions and fairs or even Internet is no place where a decent art would take place.
  10. Sooner you become a self-proclaiming expert on art the better. Have a strong and only view on how to make glazes, how to study properly, if artist “x” is a complete kitsch and what is art actually for… Don’t let others to make fool of you… you know better, don’t held any true dialog or discussion with equally advanced people – all they want is to prove their point.

Being loyal to all or some of those tips you have a great chance not to become a good artist. But you will always have an opportunity of becoming “an Artist” – for many it’s good enough…

07/12/2007

11….. Have your say on this theme….

About kasia

Born in Poland. Lives in Ireland, Cork. Visual artist. View all posts by kasia

2 responses to “How not to become a good artist:

  • Lucille(the one whose presence you are cursed with day in day out)

    That made me laugh out loud.at least once!!
    Brilliant i love the whole site ,a genius in the making ,the race is on to see who makes money out of this game first…I bet its you!!
    Actually you should write for an art magazine I reckon ,you have a natural talent Kasha.
    Well done !
    And how on earth is your bloody english better than mine???That pisses me off..its not as if i was brought up with another native tongue,only scottish…hmmmphh!!

  • skonieczna

    Lucille,
    Believe it or not, your presence is anything but curse…
    I suppose, it’s me who can be annoying sometimes, in a sense… Thanks for your encouragement… I feel almost embarrassed by your words…I bet you’ve already finished arranging your perfect exhibition…

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