More or less ‘incognita’?

Well, l cannot avoid this question now -not after almost four years of studying art and over two years of writing the blog with the ‘unknown’ promise in its title… How ‘known’ my land has become – to me and to others who – just due to my appearance within the ‘art-world’ – have been gracing me with their attention and often a friendship in here and in the ‘real’ life?

As l stated introducing the blog, and with some inevitable degree of audacity in all those happy beginnings – this writing of mine has been devoted to an exploration of an ‘unknown’ – ‘Terra lncognita’ of the contemporary art and my own personal expression. So – more or less ‘incognita’? Or – shall l rather ask – have l failed better or worse?

Some of my long-followers may already have an answer and l won’t blame them for that – where has the drive of the ‘old good times’ gone? And – the author’s ability of abandoning the site seems to be the only thing that got ‘better’ with time…

Right – cannot or won’t defend myself here. Not because of my apparently innate self-indulgence which had made this adventure possible at all, but cos – believe it or not – l’ve been trying to display some sort of integrity all the way through. Hence , never this very virtual profile has appeared better (hopefully not ‘worse’) than my actual experience had been-  day to day – enfolding the world as seen by the ‘painter’s’ eyes… Mirroring all the tides of emotions and the intellectual gain, as well as meaningfully keeping silent throughout the toughest bits…

But – to return to the dilemma – is it all more or less known/unknown right now? How do l feel about embarking the ‘professional’ board? These and many other questions need to be  addressed within the next few months in a way that nothing/nobody could have ever been able to teach me to deal with…

Am l afraid? Perhaps more than my sensibility and sentience can admit for the sake of my own well-being. Yet – in all that fear l’m still lucky to have all those beautiful individuals who will stay be me… and l’m still able to write it down in here… how truly and undeservedly lucky one can get…

About kasia

Born in Poland. Lives in Ireland, Cork. Visual artist. View all posts by kasia

4 responses to “More or less ‘incognita’?

  • Stan

    Welcome back, Katarzyna. Though I’m more of a recent follower than a long-term one, it’s a pleasure to see Terra Incognita active again. Better, too, to maintain its integrity than to disappoint yourself by compromising this. Whatever directions and shapes it might take in the future, you should not feel under pressure about it.

    I think your question about what is known/unknown is, in a crucial sense, unknowable! There is a paradox embedded in the act of knowing and the pursuit of any kind of knowledge. It’s like a knot between the knower and the known. We can’t know anything without knowing the self that knows it, and here there is infinite terrain.

    The more I know (or think I know), the more I know I don’t know. I can point to things I have learned, but I cannot trace things I have forgotten or failed to understand, and I cannot quantify any of it meaningfully. This does not matter so much as the quality of my relationship to the whole or to other parts of the whole — how and why I filter my focus this way or that, and whether this improves the world or does the opposite.

  • skonieczna

    It’s great to have you here Stan again. I’m lucky indeed to have such insightful, well-wishing readers.
    I’ve been a sort of torn between writing and painting for some time – yet now I’ll be assessed on my visual progress – hence I have to throw all my energy right there… not without a certain regret… crafting stories and mastering words is a great pleasure… All the best to you…

  • Hans

    A strange thing is, that, when looking back in 10 years, everything you did, starts to change its message to you, your work is still speaking to you, but somehow you completely value it different and wonder sometimes, why you made it at all, as if there were a higher reason in the world of Billions of vague coincidentally conditions that made you produce that work.

    Even sometimes I start to hate painting, but if I take the courage to come back to it, it has the power to calm me down, to change my mood, even it has the power to change through me.

    But yes, it becomes clearer over time to me, the tools I can handle, and which I can’t, but always we can improve better to listen to ourselves, listen very carefully. Hope that become not too Kitschy now… Hope to see more blogposts here .. ;))

  • skonieczna

    Hello Hans
    You are like the ‘big (good) brother’ from Georgia watching us – children playing… he ? ; )
    You are right – l feel a rather strange connection to my 3 years old work – it circulates in me like blood in my veins – yet, l have to fight back an impulse to sabotage it.
    But our old languages are never ‘old’ – they ask us for a responsible ownership and some nurturing; like all brain and heart-children do…
    l’d love to post more – cannot…
    Talk to you when l will reclaim my time and my life again…

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